The Magic Kingdom is Dry

I've recently returned from the "sunshine and old people state" of Florida--red and peeling. It was a lovely family vacation spent getting my pasty Pittsburgh skin burnt to a crisp during the day and eating dinner with my family at a faux-Caribbean restaurant at night. On one of the days of our excursion, we ventured off to the Magic Kingdom in Disney World to see my loving sister walk with her high school marching band in a Disney Parade (they seem to have these obnoxious parades every fifteen minutes at Disney). Nobody in my family is much of a "theme park" fan, so we entered the kingdom by monorail and with slight apprehension.

My mother & I enjoying Big Thunder Mountain Railroad

The highlights of the day included: getting drenched at splash mountain, realizing how outdated and old most of the park seems and meticulously searching the park, with my father, for a cold beer, only to find out that no alcohol is served in Frontier land or Tomorrow Land or any of the parks located in the Magic Kingdom for that matter. Apparently you can get loaded in Epcot, drinking beers from all over the world, while the Magic kingdom doesn't serve any booze because it's considered too "kiddie oriented."

Red Raider Pride "Woohoo!" My sister is on the left

Easily my favorite part of the day was a confrontation that took place in Frontier Land near the recently updated "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride. A rather loud collision took place between a big plastic baby cart and an old man in a "hoveround-type" wheelchair. At first the old wrinkly man, who was clearly the cause of the accident, yelled, "Watch where you're going!!" Quickly the the father responded, "No, YOU watch where YOU'RE going!" And without hesitation the old man screamed with a southern draw, "Kiss maaaah ASS!" The nearby parents all stopped in horror when these words uttered from the old man's mouth with the silence being broken by my Nelson Muntz-style "HAH-HAH" laugh.

Keith, Dad and me excitedly leaving the park

On the others days of our vacation my brother and I explored the vast Marriott Hotel complex, that we stayed at for a week. The food court, we discovered, seemed to be completely covered in a thin sticky residue while the arcade served up classic games such as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Time" that unfortunately didn't work. At the hotel bar a young foreign bartender stared at our out-of -state drivers licenses for about 15 minutes and then when we asked for some draft beer the girl replied, "taps no work now...make to much foamy."--the only other option being 5$ bottles of Bud Light.

I hope you enjoyed reading this entry because my skin is peeling off and itching like crazy as I type this. I would like to share some music with you that became the soundtrack to my vacation--MGMT. Here are some of the more overplayed tracks of my trip . Also checkout the songs "Time to Pretend" and"Electric Feel" by MGMT if you haven't already.

MGMT- Kids

MGMT- The Handshake

MGMT- The Youth

MGMT- Weekend Wars